If isn’t WHOA!, then is No

If isn’t WHOA!, then is No. That’s my rule. Easy.

I’ve already said, we live in the era of distractions and nowadays is so easy to say yes to all the bullshit around. The problem is that saying yes to them, we actually steal time to what really matter for us.

So, ask yourself the right question, why are you saying yes to tons of bullshit?

I said “yes” to a girl once when I was much younger. Was a toxic relationship and it took years and scars all over me to finally say “no” to her. I was so stupid to repeat the same mistake with another girl, I gave her anything I could and she cheated me with someone found on Facebook. Twice. I said yes to a beautiful woman that seamed sincere at the time, but she wasn’t in love with me but with my pocket.

I said “yes” to being on a board of an edge fund once because of greed and power. The business collapsed and the lawsuit has finally ended after years. I lost millions.

I said “yes” to a seemed very smart guy who use to be my business partner, and he stole money from the company. I lost half million this time.

I said “yes” to buying a house just because someone convinced me to do it. Twice. I lost everything on those. It would cause many to throw in the towel. I said “yes” to an advisor who suggested to invest in Lehman Brothers shares. I lost hundreds of thousand dollars. I said “yes” to 5.000 of dates to just “have a chat”. 4,950 of them I wish I had stayed home and play chess or walk my dog or at the fitness club.

I said “yes” to a friend who asked for money and it took years to get it back. I repeated same mistake. Money flew away this time, my friend too.

“Yes” steals years of your life. You never get them back. “No” adds years. I listen all, talk with few, decide alone. This moment I have 9.963 unread emails. I only read the relevant messages. I’ve started saying “no” to emails. I usually don’t have meetings except those with my team. If someone wants to talk with me, she/he needs to send a brief presentation. I don’t read newspapers. I don’t read magazines. I hate TV. I don’t vote, never did. I don’t go to weddings. I hate weddings in particular. No funerals too. I don’t spend time with toxic people. I don’t wast time on social, I invest there just the minimum time to be inspirational for my community. Over the years I said yes to buying many useless things: fancy cars, expensive homes, fashion clothes. I wasted Yesses.

Now I own just my old 1985 Jeep and my motorcycles. I have no house, during my Italian summer vacation when I don’t travel, I live in a residence. My companies have assets for my passive income, some bank accounts in different currencies with everything I could need. I can say I’m rich because I live by passive income and I do not need to work, since 2011. I have no budget, I say no to budgeting.

I finally said no to all the things. I cleaned out. I don’t want my children to have to inherit a bad “yes.” I have no regrets. Because everything I said “yes” to turned out to be a lesson about “no”.

I distill my Yesses and save it only for what really matter for my passage on this planet and serves my process of growing. I save my Yesses for the people whom deserve to spend it with.

Ask yourself the right questions in order of your “yesses” because if the question is wrong, the answer is irrelevant.